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Love Yourself: “Get Up From The Table When Love Is No Longer Being Served”

When I started this series “Love Yourself” I didn’t expect so many people to contact me about it after only 2 posts, but I went over all the calls and emails I have received from complete strangers and decided to make this post about one common issue I took away from all the responses.

What do you do when you have invested so much of your time and energy into a relationship (whether it be with a person, job, organization, movement, etc.) and there is no expectation of a positive change in sight?

You get up from the table.

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Nia Simone said it best: “you have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” When it comes to my young adults, I like to break it down even more when I teach life development:

  • Get up from the table when respect is no longer being served

  • Get up from the table when safety is no longer being served

  • Jump up from the table when foolishness IS being served

You would have a fit if you went to Red Lobster and your food was not served properly. You’ve probably even walked out of places because the service was horrible.

Are you not MORE valuable than the food you eat?

Oftentimes we let other people steal our future because we participated in something someone else talked us into that we knew was foolish – when we should have gotten up from the table. Life is made up of choices.

The same thing can be said about your place of employment. A good friend of mine in D.C. didn’t like how he was being treated, he felt he deserved better, so he got up from the table. Fast forward to right now and he is his own boss and doing better than he was when he was working for someone else.

I want to leave you with three signs that I use to determine when it’s time to get up from the table:

Frustration. Anger. Sickness.

First you start to feel frustrated daily. Then weekly, now you’re just annoyed and frustrated all the time.

You move from frustration to anger. Now you’re mad and catching an attitude. People around you start to notice that something is definitely wrong. You start to act out at the smallest things (to others it’s a small thing so they don’t get it, but to you it’s been building up for a long time).

You’ve been angry for so long that you’ve made yourself sick. Not able to function properly. The sight of certain people or things can ruin your entire day. If you’re not careful you will end up in the hospital.

Basically, you ate that bad food at Red Lobster and after so long it caught up with you and stopped you from functioning.

I implore you. Learn how to get up from the table when ________ is no longer being served. (fill in the blank with whatever word you choose in the comment section)

-F.W. (as always, watch the video below, comment and share! You never know what others are going through…)

National Youth Pride Services is a urban, creative, intellectual, socially forward movement for black LGBTQ youth and young adults across the U.S. Become a member today!

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Chicago, IL 60601

Phone. 773-YPS-8051