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Love Yourself:When People Act Like They Don’t Care, They Aren’t Acting

This final post in the series #LoveYourself could have been called “How Not To Be Used By Others”but a direct, blunt approach usually works best when you are trying to teach people how to treat you.

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day and and a good day to do some evaluating of yourself. Are you dealing with people who do not actually care about you?

Here are a few questions to ponder:

  1. Have you ever called someone several times, only to wonder for days why they have not returned your call when they can clearly see all your missed calls?

  2. Ever work with someone on a project and on the due day they are ignoring every effort you make to reach them, yet their social media pages clearly show they are not only able to contact you back, but are having a really good time?

  3. Here is my personal favorite. You leave a voicemail for someone that requires some action on their part. You reach out to them 3 days later, asking about a follow up from the voicemail and they tell you they have not listened to it yet. 2 weeks go by and you’re still waiting.

  4. Social media, specifically Facebook and Snaphat and some email providers, do a pretty good job of letting you know when a person has received or read your attempt to reach out. Ever find yourself getting upset about being ignored?

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What if I told you that you can actually prevent all of this from happening? As a person who daily has to deal with more than 200 personalities, young and old, I have spent years stressing over people who did not really care about me. Once I learned how to identify the right people, I never felt ignored or even used again.

People who care about you do not only talk to you when it is convenient for them. Why? Because they know that sometimes you are going to need them too? It’s a fair balance and both parties get something out of the relationship equally.

Let’s start by being realistic. It’s 2016. Technology is so advanced now that you never have to miss anything or anyone. You actually have to put effort into not caring about someone or something these days. More than two thirds of the world’s population has a cell phone. You can now simply speak to your phone and it will: set a reminder, put an appointment on your calendar, email someone on your behalf, return a call – all without lifting a finger.

It takes more effort to dodge a person or come up with excuses (usually lies) than to actually give a damn.

One key to loving yourself is understanding that when a person acts like they do not care about you – they are not acting! No one is too busy to do the things they really want to do. Those who have several things going on – and are organized – have a system that prevents them from burning bridges, or making themselves look bad. I say this to my team all the time. There is one who will post about every event on the planet, but you will never see them post about anything the team wants the people in their network to know about. This used to drive me crazy.

Then one day I realized how things got done without them. The one person who wasn’t concerned about us was getting more attention from me than all the people that actually cared. Respect, love, teamwork. These are all action words. They require some type of action from all parties involved. Not just one.

So remember, when people act like they don’t care about you – they aren’t acting.

They don’t.

They will make an attempt, if they do care.

-F.W.

Read No One Deserves Second Hand Love

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